Monday 18/07/16

This is the converation that regluar goes through my head at the minite.

LT’s Head: “Don’t train today.
It’s too hot.
You’re tired.
That rest day you had yesterday was so lovely! Do it again.
You’re due on your period and feel grouchy.
Have another rest day.
You’re tired.
It’s hot.
Go to sleep.
You feel shit.
You are shit.
Everything is such a struggle.
Cry and go to bed.”

LT: “Crying won’t make me feel any better.”

LT’s Head: “You’re such a know-it-all.
Just go to bed, have a cry and fall asleep.
Forget about it all.”

LT: “The last time I did that, it didn’t make me feel any better.”

LT’s Head: “You’ll only be crap if you go to the gym.
Just take a rest.
Just one day.
It won’t hurt.”

LT: (puts on trainers and walks out door)

There was so much more to that conversation than I have written. So much more.  The tears were so close to my eyeballs as I brushed my teeth pre-gym.
I’m still so tired from the past few weeks. 
5 jobs to keep my head above water and continue paying for my rowing challenge. Plus training twice a day and who knew eating could become a task in itself?
I’m thankful I like eating peanut butter straight from the tub.

Perhaps I’m having a come down from an awesome weekend with awesome friends? FYI: this isn’t drug related, just the effects of being an excitable person with manic depressive tendencies.

I’m definitely hormonal, my boobs hurt.

I miss my training partner, team mate and best friend, he’s away working in Scotland for a fortnight.

Whatever it is, it’s all excuses.

Shoes on and out the door into the raging heat of the day, I drove to CrossFit Panic for my 5 x 5 Workout.

I’m always amazed at how exercise enhances my mood.  
I felt pretty horrible before leaving for the gym.  Now I’m back, it’s like it’s a new day.  My head is fresh, with clear thinking and my mood elevated.
I’m still tired from the last few weeks. This has bought to my attention that I need to plan some active recovery weeks more frequently than the ones I have booked in every 6 weeks.  I also maybe need to look at my nutrition plan and be a bit more on the ball instead of winging it all the time.

I write this so I can reflect back when I’m feeling rubbish in the future and know that just chipping away, staying calm and being consistent and responsible is the best way to feel better.