I’m So Tired

How can it be that I have rowed across the Atlantic Ocean?
I rowed for 12 hours a day for 6 weeks.
I had more energy than this.

My insurance runs out next week.
Ping. Ping. Ping. ‘Did you get my last email?’
I must change my bedsheets.

I’ve completed a 48 hour adventure race, running through the countryside with everything I needed on my back.
I was awake for 56 hours in total.
I had more energy than this!

‘We are sending you a new credit card for security reasons.’
Incorrect password.
Shit, I’ve run out of washing up liquid.

One day I walked 30 miles across all of London’s bridges because I wanted to escape my thoughts.
The first 15 miles felt great! The last 15 miles were grim.
I felt better than I do today.

10% battery.
Register to vote.
The drip from next door’s overflow pipe is driving me crazy!

I consider myself a very resilient and robust human.
Some of my experiences have pushed me to my limits; physically, mentally and emotionally.
But this thing called Real Life makes me really fucking tired – deep into my cells.

Adam added you to a WhatsApp group.
Sarah sent you an Instagram message.
Paul sent you a Tweet.

Social media. Email. Media.
Living far away from friends and family. Living in a concrete box. Living in a concrete city.
Global warming. Plastic pollution. Conflict.

I look around and I see grey – grey buildings and grey faces.
I listen outside and I hear sirens.
My nose gets full of carbon monoxide.

We weren’t designed to live like this.
Thousands of stimulants exhausting our senses each day.
Blue light burning through our retinas.

No wonder we are tired.
No wonder I am tired.

Humans are animals.
The most intelligent animals on the planet.
The most selfish, destructive animals on the planet.

Something needs to change…….. because I am always so tired.